Participant aspirations and collective boundaries

Dear participants, old and new friends,

THANK YOU for being part of the network, movement – and this Gathering! This Gathering is our sacred heartspace and to ensure the best conditions for connection, respect and care at the event we have developed a set of group aspirations that you can find below. 

With these aspirations, we want to invite you on a collective learning journey. We are all learning how to be more respectful, caring and mature in our relationships – especially in our communities – and our Gathering creates space to experiment with this. It’s an opportunity to gain greater awareness of each other and ourselves. 

In some workshops or sessions there might be an invitation for touch. Giving and receiving touch is always optional. We have collected some resources for raising awareness on what consent is, and what consent might look like, which you can find at the bottom of this document.

These aspirations are designed to help us navigate these social waters. Please read them carefully before the Gathering starts and let’s support each other to reach them, in a way that is caring and patient towards ourselves and each other.

 

PARTICIPANT ASPIRATIONS

  • I aspire to travel to and from the Gathering as sustainably as possible within my means. 
  • I aspire to breathe, to feel, to be present and to be authentic. 
  • I aspire to take full responsibility for the nature of my experience. 
  • I aspire to show up on time for sessions that I would like to participate in. If there is a sign on the door saying ‘workshop in session – do not enter’ or ‘workshop full – do not enter’, I will not enter. 
  • I aspire to request support, guidance and help when needed or wish for it, using clear direct requests. 
  • I aspire to use tools and techniques available to process my emotions. I agree to make use of the emotional support team and offerings on site, if I need support.
  • I aspire to not gossip about other participants, and, if needed, to speak directly to the person that I struggle to connect lovingly with. If someone attempts to gossip to me about others, I agree to support them to speak directly to the person or to ask for facilitated support to carry the conversation with the person.
  • I aspire to ask people if they want my feedback before I give it to them, and at a time that is suitable for both of us.
  • I aspire to allow people to have their own experience and not intervene unless they ask for support: i.e. not passing tissues or giving touch/hugs or advice that has not been requested.
  • I understand that this event involves connection with others. As an adult, I aspire to be responsible and respectful with myself and in my interactions with others. I will use clear and direct verbal communication, ask for consent in all cases related to touch and intimacy, and practice consensual safer sex practices at the Gathering.
  • If in a workshop I am not comfortable with something, I will make sure to express this clearly to the facilitators or my co-participants, and I will uphold my boundaries and participate only to the extent I choose.
  • I aspire to respect others regardless  of any differences that we may have (including gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, class, movement-belonging). I aspire to bring awareness to the moments in which I act in sexism, racism or any other discriminatory way, taking conscious actions to learn and improve. I agree to respect any identity that my co-participant may choose to identify with. 
  • I aspire to practice the celebration of cultures, particularly indigenous and marginalised cultures, in a conscious and respectful manner by asking ourselves the following questions:  Do my actions pay respect to the cultural tools I am borrowing? Do I provide context for why this cultural tool is appropriate to use? Is there a way I can communicate the same message using my own cultural practices? How do I give back to the communities that I have borrowed this knowledge from?
  • I understand that this event involves connection with others. As an adult, I aspire to be responsible and respectful with myself and in my interactions with others. I will use clear and direct verbal communication, ask for consent in all cases related to touch and intimacy, and practice consensual safer sex practices at the Gathering. In some workshops or sessions there might be an invitation for touch. Giving and receiving touch is always optional. If I am not comfortable with this, I will make sure to express this clearly to the facilitators or my co-participants and I will uphold my boundaries and participate only to the extent I choose. We have collected some resources for raising awareness on what consent is and how consent can look like that you can find at the bottom of this document.
  • I agree to refrain from using drugs or alcohol at the Gathering. I agree not to smoke on the community premises except for the designated smoking area.
  • I aspire to leave no trace at the host community after the end of the Gathering. This means minimizing “waste” and taking care of any material that I have brought to the site.
  • I agree to keep noise in camping and community areas down after 22.00 and I agree not to enter areas marked as ‘private’ and to use the main paths in the grounds to maintain the privacy of the community members.

COLLECTIVE BOUNDARIES

In order for all of us to feel as safe as possible, GEN Europe has created a list of behaviours that are considered unacceptable at the Gathering. It is a way for us to create healthy boundaries at the Gathering, so that all of us can relax, play, have fun and enjoy each others’ company. Let’s support each other in upholding these collective boundaries. The collective boundaries are:

Physical violence, aggression or abuse.

Psychological violence, aggression or abuse, including insults, discrimination, vilification, humiliation and stalking.

Racism or discrimination based on religious, ethnicity, class etc. 

Sexual harassment and unwanted and non-consensual physical contact.

Disruptive behaviours and deliberate act to cause annoyance.

Behaviour that create a hostile, intimidating and offensive environment.

Possession of any weapons or chemicals (reference to specifications).

Circulating or displaying discriminating, humiliating or insulting material or content of illegal sexual nature.

Child abuse, including sexual offenses and neglect.

Coercion and social pressures to engage belief systems or behaviours.

Taking photographs of people without permission. This includes photography of children without guardian consent. 

Drug use.

We are all on this journey together, so let us support each other on this path of learning on how to treat each other with greater care and respect. If you experience a co-participant not acting out of these aspirations, please let them know in a caring and supportive way. In the case of any unacceptable behaviours (i.e. as listed  above), please let the emotional support team or the Gathering coordinators know as soon as possible, so that they can support the situation and ensure the continued safety and wellbeing of all participants.

Please be aware that the breaching of any of these boundaries may be grounds for being asked to leave the Gathering. GEN Europe reserves the right to refuse (re)entry to the event if the organisers feel the safety and wellbeing of other participants may be at risk.


CONSENT RESOURCES:

Videos:

Ted Talk on The new rules for consent in the post-#MeToo era -Tamora Isreal

Ted talk on Living in an age of consent – Clara Ulvenes

Ted Talk on Navigating the Grey Area of Consent – Emily Nestor

Instagram: 

@consent.wizardry

Articles: 

What is consent (in a sexual context)

What consent does – and does not – look like (in a sexual context)

These aspirations have been developed with inspiration from different conscious movements, including the practices and experiences from within our network and Gathering. The basis of the aspirations are the group agreements of the ISTA courses. The aspirations have been developed with our Gathering Advisory Circle consisting of Di Ponti, Nontokozo Sedibe and Aili Pyhälä.